Tonight's Prayer For My Daughter

One of my favorite books, and one of the most important books of all time is Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. 

So you can imagine my delight when I came across this piece of artwork while down in St. Augustine. Not only because it's from Farenheit, but because these words sum up exactly what I want for my daughter. 

I want her to see the world. Not just in books and movies; not superficially for the purpose of taking a selfie which she can post to facebook, Instagram, or whatever kids are using when she is old enough to have such a thing; and not briefly. I want her to REALLY SEE the world. I want her to stuff her eyes and her heart with wonder and live as though each day was her last because, as Bradbury wrote, there are no guarantees or securities. I want her to shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass. 

As I said in an earlier post, I want her to live. I want her to find a passion and follow it. 

Lord, help me guide her so that she might really see the world the way you intended it to be seen and to live a life that is fulfilling to your will and to her. Help stuff her eyes with wonder and her heart with joy, compassion, grace and love. Enable me to teach her about the things that really matter in this life so that she may pursue her passions with a pure heart. Amen.

And for the record, I went into that store to buy this with the intention of hanging it above her crib. Then they told me it was $400 and something dollars. No thanks! Any Pinterest pros out there? How can make one of these myself?

Sometimes We Just Need That Reminder

As my husband, J and I left my in-laws' at 10pm on Christmas Eve, the biggest thing weighing on my mind was the need to assemble J's Potterybarn "Anywhere Chair" as well as stuff her stocking and wrap three wayward presents. We wouldn't be getting to my mom's house until after midnight, so I was hoping that we could get it done fairly quickly. 

We picked up the dog and by 10:30 we were en route to New England when my mom called to tell us that their well pump had just broken. They had no water in the house and although the well companies all have an emergency number, they don't do emergencies at 10:30 on Christmas Eve.

My husband, unwilling to spend Christmas in a hotel (or a house with no running water) turned the car around and went back to his mother's house. We would spend the night there, shower and bathe J in the morning, and then head to my mom's.

 I was so upset and thinking that this would be one of the worst Christmases ever. I did not want to travel on Christmas morning, and I wanted J to wake up and come downstairs to see that Santa had come (even though at barely 8 months I know she couldn't have cared less). And I needed that stupid chair assembled!!! I needed to give my daughter the perfect first Christmas experience. How foolish I was.

It wasn't until the day after Christmas when I was reminded about what truly matters, and nothing from Potterybarn makes that list.

One of the women from my mom's group asked for prayers on behalf of family friends who were in a horrific car accident on Christmas Eve which left the dad in critical condition. Worse, their 12 year old daughter succumbed to her injuries on Christmas night. 

Today, a little girl lost her battle with Krabbe Disease just two weeks shy of her second birthday. 

My heart hurts so much for these families and the countless others who have encountered tragedies this Christmas. I found myself ashamed that while I was upset about assembling a silly chair, another family was being rushed to the hospital; while I was worried about giving my daughter the "perfect Christmas", yet another family was simply praying that their little girl would make it to Christmas.

As I lay here in bed, listening to my own perfect, healthy and happy little girl snoring away in her crib, I can't help but close my eyes and fervently thank God for...well, for everything. Having a healthy daughter, my brother just returned safely home from Afghanistan, and a house with running water; friends who travelled to spend time with us; listening to J's peals of laughter as she plays with my mom in the other room; my husband making it safely back to Florida. All of that made for a perfect Christmas.

I guess sometimes we all need a little reminding about what is truly important in our lives. So tonight, be reminded of the blessings you have in your life and, be it to God, the universe or some other, higher power, say thank you. 

Tex-Mex Quinoa Bake

Every so often my husband and I like to mix it up and go vegetarian for a few days. I feel like it cleans out my whole system (there may be absolutely zero truth to that, but that's how I feel). Anyway, although it looks like birdseed, quinoa is both protein- and fiber-rich and this recipe actually makes it taste great. I found this in my September 2014 issue of Clean Eating Magazine.

Ingredients:

• Olive oil cooking spray (I used Safflower Oil)
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed (I used the multi-colored quinoa and rarely rinse because I'm lazy)
• 1/2 tsp plus 1/8 tsp sea salt, divided (I used kosher salt)
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp ground coriander
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1 small, sweet onion, finely chopped (this manual food processor is my FAVE for chopping onions!!!)
• 1 small red bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped (sometimes I use different colors because it's fun)
• 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 1 cup frozen corn kernels (I used a can)
• 1 15-oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 4 oz shredded Mexican cheese blend of a mix of half cheddar and half Jack cheese (about 1 cup packed)
• 1/4 cup packed chopped fresh cilantro leaves (I usually have this on hand when I make this dish because I make fresh guacamole to go with it. However, I've made it without and it is still good)

Tools Used:

• Manual Food Processor 
• Executive 12" Skillet 
• Bamboo Specialty Cooking Set

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350
• In a medium saucepan, bring 2 cups of water to a boil. Stir in quinoa and 1/2 tsp salt. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and rest, covered, for 5 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl. Add cumin and coriander, and stir gently to combine.
• Meanwhile, in a large skillet on medium-high, heat oil. Add onion, bell pepper, black pepper, and remaining 1/8 tsp salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned (about 8-10 minutes). 
• Add corn and 1/4 cup water (I don't add the water when using canned corn which is most of the time) and simmer until most of the liquid evaporates and the corn is heated through, about 3 minutes. 
• Add black beans and cook, stirring occasionally until heated through, about 1 minute. 
  
• Add mixture to the bowl with cooked quinoa and stir gently to combine. Stir in 3 oz cheese and cilantro.
• Transfer quinoa mixture to a baking dish and sprinkle remaining 1 oz cheese over top. Bake until cheese is melted, 10-12 minutes. Rest for 5 minutes before serving. 
  

  

  
• Top with freshly made guacamole and enjoy!

I'm Dreaming of a Big Chill Christmas

Maybe it was my talking about how I should have been a 1950s housewife or actually watching two episodes of I Love Lucy yesterday that prompted my dream last night. Are you ready for this? I actually dreamt of appliances.

Last night I dreamt that I found (yes, found!) this amazing pair of 1950s style refrigerators. One was mint and the other was a pretty pastel blue. They were just sitting there, all alone in some tall beach grass. Then, out of nowhere, a woman came out and congratulated me on finding them. She then told me that since I had found them, I could pick one and keep it. OMG! A new fridge!!! And I WON IT (I never win anything)! I chose the blue one, but I woke up before I was able to get it home. I was bummed about that.

I had never actually seen this type of refrigerator in a store. In fact, the only place I've seen it was in a People Magazine article where it was listed as one of Miranda Lambert's favorite things (it's slide number 5 and hers is pink). I had to know more about them.

I woke up this morning and have been sitting here reading about these wondrous creations and just pinning amazing kitchens designed around Big Chill appliances. I think I'm in love.

Big Chill appliances were founded in 2001 in Boulder, Colorado by Thom Vernon and his nephew, Orion Creamer. Thom wanted something for his vintage beach house: "a retro design with modern functionality".

These energy efficient refrigerators boast a steel body with chrome trim, and are available in over 200 custom colors. (actually, the whole thing is customizable) Oh...and they come in mini size which means you can keep one in your office or give your kid the coolest fridge in the dorms. Then I found that they do more than just refrigerators - ranges, microwaves, hoods, and  dishwashers - which means that I can have a full Big Chill kitchen in my new house! Omg YES!!!

So naturally, I started pinning away. Check out what I found. Almost immediately, I found my new dream kitchen. Here it is:

THIS IS THE COLOR FROM MY DREAM!!!

I absolutely love this shade of blue with the dark cabinets

Even without the pop of color, Big Chill still makes for an amazing looking kitchen

Here is the other color I dreamt about!

The possibilities are endless

These appliances are a designer's dream and my new obsession so of course I had to share it. Now I'm off to revise my letter to Santa ;)

How Did This Happen?

I wrote a post about being born in the wrong era, and I figured I would explain it a little bit more for those of you who think I'm crazy. There actually was a time when I wanted a career and a family.

Once upon a time I had a dream.

Ever since I could remember, I loved animals (a love which I am hoping to pass on to J) and wanted nothing more than to work with them. I was going to be a veterinarian. Yes, a lot of little girls want to be vets but I really wanted it. My high school required all students to complete 40 hours of community service over the course of four years in order to graduate. When I heard this in the very beginning of ninth grade, I immediately got to work.

I sent letters to all of the veterinary practices in my small Connecticut shoreline town explaining who I was and asking if they would let me come and volunteer. I would clean cages, feed animals or just spend time with those who needed a little something extra. I heard back from one. They told me that they didn't need the help right now, but I could check back in in a few months. I followed up and they took me on.

I loved working at the animal hospital. I took it seriously and I was good at it. When my 40 hours were up, I was offered a paid, part-time position and by the time I was a senior in high school, I was doing everything a licensed technician could do. They trusted me! I had absolutely no doubts that this was what I wanted to spend my life doing.

When I started college, I knew that I was horrible at math. I had struggled with it throughout high school and grew to hate it. However, in college I did my best to change my attitude. I needed math and I wanted to be good at it. I took advantage of professors' office hours, TAs, and even set up tutoring.

When I was working through problems with someone, I got it. When I sat down to take my tests, I was confident. And then I would get the test back with grades in the 20s. Once I even scored a 14. I just kept failing. The second algebra professor I had, Professor Don, announced on the first day that she did not allow the use of calculators under any circumstances. I immediately started to panic. I stayed after class to talk to her. I explained that my goal was veterinary school but math was a huge obstacle for me. Instead of giving me some tips, she laughed in my face and told me I was setting myself up for failure. This made me want to try even harder and I refused to drop her class. I was going to show her. Well, she was right. I failed. Again.

I took Algebra four times in college before I passed it (the last time I took it was at a local community college so that I could get a C+ and only the credit would transfer over to the University). It was awful. My parents told me that they weren't paying all this money for me to be on academic probation (I kept failing Chemistry too because it required lots of math) and if I didn't find a new major, I was going to have to find a way to pay for school on my own. That's when I started majoring in English.

I was good at English. I loved reading (I had loved reading my entire life) and writing papers. My GPA went up significantly (I was only .4 points away from graduating Cum Laude) and my parents were happy. Then came the big question: what am I going to do with an English degree? Someone suggested becoming an English teacher. Since vet school was now out of the question because of math, I literally shrugged and said, "Okay, I guess". Becoming a vet was the only career I had ever considered for myself. There were no other options for me. And so I just picked teaching because I had to pick something.

It took me years to get over the fact that the one big dream I had in my life was dead and gone. And even now, if I really think about it, I can't say that I'm completely over it. Any drive I had to be a successful career woman died with my dreams of veterinary school (I had wanted to build my own practice like the amazing one I worked for in high school). Teaching was a job. Nothing more (I don't even think I was really any good at it) and nothing less. It wasn't awful; I met a lot of great kids, but it wasn't anything I was passionate about.

I look at one of my best friends now. She is a machine, working her way up the corporate ladder in a world I know nothing about. But I hear her stories - most recently about how she just negotiated herself an office so that she could do some freelance work during her down time and not be bothered - and every so often I feel a pang. A little pang that wishes I had her drive to be a successful businesswoman negotiating an office for myself. And then I feel a touch of inadequacy. For the first time since I was 14 years old, I don't have a job. I don't have a career. What could I, or should I, have done differently?

The pangs do go away, eventually. I love being a mom and I'm sure that someday I can use my failure to teach my daughter about perseverance; to follow her dreams no matter how hard the road.

One thing I know for sure is that I will do everything I can to make sure that she follows her dreams. If she happens to develop a passion for helping animals and wants to go spend a summer volunteering at The Lion Park in South Africa (I wanted to go work with the hyenas after watching a special on Discovery Channel), then I will make sure she gets on a plane and goes. I want her to have passion, and I want her to be driven. I never want her to feel as though she missed out on something or settled for a career because she just had to pick something. I want her to feel like she is good at what she does, and that it is worthwhile. I want her to feel all of the things I would have felt had I not let failure get the best of me.

Right now I don't understand why, but I guess it was all a part of God's plan for me. Maybe He needed me in that school. Maybe I helped or changed a student and still don't even know it - or will never know it. I just have to trust that my failure was all part of a grander plan, and hope that I can use it to teach J.

A Mom Born in the Wrong Era

Seriously. 

Growing up, one of my favorite shows was I Love Lucy. I absolutely loved Lucy and Ricky: her antics, his impatience, their NYC apartment, her clothes (oh my gosh how I loved her clothes), and the loving relationship that existed within their adorably imperfect little world (I was devastated after reading her biography and learning that the marriage between Lucy and Desi was actually horrible). Watching reruns of I Love Lucy led me to believe that I belonged in the 1950s. 

It was about ten years ago that I decided I would be the best housewife/stay-at-home mom ever: 1950s style. I once made a promise to my husband that if he ever allowed me to stay at home I would cook, clean, and even greet him at the door with his slippers and a drink (thankfully, he has long since forgotten about the slipper/drink deal). How well have I held up my end of the bargain? I'm far from perfect. I suck at cleaning (really, I'm just not good at it. I never have been.) But I cook and I'm cheerful for hubs when he gets home from work. 

I found this little gem (among others) that I just had to share. 

An article from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly

• 
  

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. 
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. 
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. 
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. 
• Be happy to see him. 
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. 
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. 
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems. 
• Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

I left out a few, but yes. These were the "rules" for being a "good" wife back in the 1950s. I know, I know. Most of you are probably squawking thinking that these are crazy. Feminists are surely chomping at the bit to tear apart whoever wrote this article and probably me for posting it. But in truth, I don't think it's all crazy (some of it, maybe, but certainly not all). 

My husband not only uprooted his life so that I could be home with J, but he works hard so that I can stay home. He's still learning a new (and very demanding) position which sometimes has him working 12 hour days AND weekends. I am so grateful for the sacrifices he has made and will continue to make so that we can make the best life possible for J which starts with having her mother home to raise her. Therefore, I am happy to have dinner ready when he gets home and have J cleaned up and ready for bed (if not already in bed). Also, I don't find that it requires effort to show hubs that I'm happy to see him when he gets home - I really am. 

I read a lot of blogs and have read a lot of forums written by, for or about moms. I've come across a lot of "open letters" in which the writer relates to the unkempt mom struggling to survive each day. The recurring theme appears to be that it's the norm among moms (especially new moms) to live in spit-up covered sweats, keep her hair in a messy ponytail and banish all thoughts of makeup. Not only is it the norm, but it's expected and it's okay. It's relatable. 

Maybe I'm crazy, but I just can't relate. Why can't you take a shower while the baby is napping? J doesn't always nap, but I have no problem with strapping her in her bouncy and putting on Baby Einstein while I take a quick shower and shave my legs. Sometimes she cries, but I know that letting her cry it out doesn't make me a bad mom. I'm showering - not blowing lines. She's fine. The same goes for hair and makeup. 

I have really long hair which will frizz out to Timbuktu if I don't blow it out or put it in a messy top knot. It takes close to half an hour to blow-dry so when it's not blown out, it's because of sheer laziness and not inability due to a crying baby. Again, those Baby Einstein videos are great because they have a repeat play option. 

As for make up, that takes me all of ten minutes to do and makes me look more human than cave dweller. When I don't put it on, it's usually because I know that I won't be able to be bothered with taking it off later (sometimes I just sleep in it). And when J spits up or flings baby food onto my shirt I change it. Especially before I go out, and it's just not that difficult.  

If women from years ago (like my grandma, who had five children and never left the house without "putting on her face") were able to keep themselves put together, have dinner on the table and raise kids all at the same time, why do so many people struggle with it today? I honestly don't know. And like I said earlier, I am so far from being a perfect housewife; my house is lived in - not immaculate because cleaning is just not something at which I excel. I'm not as crafty as I would like to be and I cannot fold a fitted sheet. But I try hard, and my husband really doesn't seem to have too many complaints. Ultimately, I think Lucy and I would have been great friends.

Apple Crisp

You've never really tried apple crisp until you've had this recipe.

This is another dessert I made for Thanksgiving and really, this should be as much of a Thanksgiving staple as the turkey.

You're welcome!

Ingredients:

• 8-10 apples, thinly sliced and peeled using the apple peeler/corer/slicer tool. You can also grab the stand if you want to make your life really easy. 
• I mix them up. I use some golden delicious, some granny smith and some gala. Or whatever else says good for baking.
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 cups flour
• 2 eggs
• 1 stick of butter (melted)
• Lemon juice
• Vanilla 

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350
• After you've peeled and sliced the apples (make sure to discard seeds, stems and cores), sprinkle with a bit of lemon juice and dump into a your rectangular stone baker. This time, I actually just used a foil tin thing because I doubled the recipe. 
  

  
  
• In your classic batter bowl, mix sugar and flour together. Then add eggs and mix well. The mix will be a little lumpy.
  
• Sprinkle the mix over the apples, doing your best to cover all of them. 
• Drizzle the melted butter over the apple/flour/sugar mix.
  
• Sprinkle a small amount of vanilla over the mix (no more than a tablespoon or so).
  
• Sprinkle cinnamon over the entire thing - as much as you'd like. I really cover mine. 
  
• Bake for 45-60 minutes. 
• Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

Congratulations - you have now experienced a little bit of heaven on earth. Enjoy!

Reasons why being a SAHM is the absolute best job ever.

I'm going to start keeping a running tab on all of the reasons why becoming a SAHM is the best thing I've ever done. I'm adding to it as I think of or come across something so these reasons are in no particular order.

For those of you who may be on the fence about whether or not to give up your career, check out this list.

For those of you who, like me, sometimes need a little reminding about why becoming a SAHM was the right decision for you, read this list.

1. I am there for ALL of her firsts. The first time she laughed; the first time she rolled over. And I will be there for the first time she says "mama"; the first time she crawls; her first steps. Each first will only happen once in her life and witnessing them is a precious experience.
2. I get to know her. Like really know her. I know the meaning of every cry. I know what makes her laugh, what scares her, what she will find interesting or exciting, and exactly how to soothe her. 
3. No more parent-teacher "interviews". My school always holds this fun little shindig the night before Thanksgiving break. They informed parents of the "rules" - only visit the teachers of the subjects in which your child is struggling; hours are from 7-9pm; first come first serve basis. Well, parents who pay $10-20K to send their kids to high school don't really do so well with rules and these nights always had an "I'm being thrown to the wolves" kind of vibe.
4. I get to try (and fail) at Pinterest more than I'd like to. 
5. My best friend posts about her awful train commutes into NYC. As a SAHM, I don't have to commute or deal with big smelly men who wear awful hair pieces and don't understand the concept of personal space. 
6. Christmas shopping (and most of my other errands) are done during the weekdays while people are at work. Know what that means? No crazy crowds! And I get to actually enjoy the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. 
7. I will never have to worry about stuff like this! http://m.news4jax.com/news/ymca-staffer-accused-of-duct-taping-childs-mouth/30266728
8. I can go back "home" for two weeks at a time. I spent two great weeks up north and will be spending another two weeks up here in March! Did I mention that the March trip was planned so that I could see one of my favorite bands in concert in NYC? 
9. I can say yes to an impromptu road trip with my BFF to check out Atlanta, Georgia. Like, next week. 

Pumpkin Cranberry Cookies

I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I know I did. 

We spent Turkey Day this year at my aunt and uncle's house (which meant NO leftovers...sob...) and I put myself on dessert duty. One of the desserts I made were these yummy pumpkin cranberry cookies that my mom made when I was a kid. They're supposed to be jumbo cookies (hence the crazy amount of ingredients) but I just made several batches of regular sized globs of goodness. No joke - this recipe made about 5 dozen cookies!

So here you go:

Ingredients:

• 4 cups flour
• 2 cups uncooked oatmeal
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp pumpkin pie spice
• 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter (softened)
• 2 cups packed brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 cups cooked pumpkin (I used canned instead. 2 cups is slightly more than one whole can)
• 1 cup dried cranberries
• 1 tsp vanilla

Pampered Chef Tools Used:

• Classic Batter Bowl
• Easy read measuring cup
• Large mixing bowl (not pictured)
• Measuring Spoon Set
• Mini Nylon Serving Spatula
• Mix 'N Scraper
• Medium Bar Pan (I should have used the large because of the amount of cookies I made!)
• Medium Stainless Steel Scoop
• Stackable Cooling Rack Set (not pictured)
• Silicone Oven Mitts

Pampered Chef Kitchen Essentials

The tools I listed above really are essentials - things that every cook should have in his/her kitchen. The reason I love Pampered Chef is that their stuff lasts FOREVER. Seriously - I have a few tools (one being a batter bowl) that are almost ten years old. I've never had to replace anything unless I wanted to. So it is definitely safe to say that your money is well spent.

And can we please talk about stoneware? I mean, I'm a stoneware newbie but WOW! Talk about even cooking. I swear that everything I cook in or on my stoneware comes out perfectly. I have my eye on the Deep Covered Baker next ;)

Okay, back to the cookies! 

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350
• Combine oats, flour, baking soda and pumpkin pie spice. Set aside
  
• Cream the butter. Gradually add sugars and beat until light and fluffy 
• Add egg and vanilla. Mix well (I ended up using an electric mixer here)
  
• Alternate additions of dry ingredients and pumpkin, mixing well after each addition. 
  
  
  
  
• Stir in cranberries. 
• Drop scoops onto the bar pan (they don't have to be spaced far apart since they don't expand much)
  
• Bake 20-25 minutes (I baked each batch for 22 minutes).

Enjoy!