It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

NOT that I'm trying to rush is because I hate the commercialization of Christmas just as much as the next guy. Note to retailers: Christmas trees before Thanksgiving is bad enough. But up with the school supplies in September? Come on now. However, it doesn't bother me this year because it's the first Christmas in years that actually feels like Christmas to me.

I grew up in a family of Christmas-a-holics. My grandma and my dad were all about it. And it was just a magical time. I remember Christmas as a kid. Our Christmas tree was always in the den - a live tree that my dad would chop down and then leave outside on the deck for a day or to so that it could settle. Waiting for the tree to settle was the worst because I was so anxious to get it set up. And even that seemed to take forever. Daddy had to get it trimmed to just the right height, into the stand, and then put the big colored lights on it. Then, and only then, did my brother and I get to decorate it. And it was thrilling. 

The rest of the time between the tree set-up and Christmas morning was my favorite (Christmas morning, believe it or not, was a little sad because that meant it was all over until the next year). My dad donned his goofy Santa hat everywhere we went, Christmas music was always playing and the house was decorated. I remember Christmas shopping, watching the classic shows and movies on tv, and just feeling like it was Christmas. I wish I could adequately describe the feeling. And Christmas morning? Forget about it. 

The double doors to the den would be closed with a stocking hanging on each door knob. That only meant one thing - SANTA CAME! I remember always being the first one up; slowly opening the left door, taking extra precautions to ensure it didn't creak, and turning on the light switch. The Christmas tree lit up and the lights hitting the wrapping paper and bows on all of the presents made it so much brighter. It was magical. 

The magic of Christmas started to dwindle after my grandma died, and even more so after my dad died. The past four Christmases have just been ordinary holidays - and I use the term holiday very loosely here. They have consisted of just trying to figure out what shit to buy which people. I became a gift card giver and an "I'll just stick this is a sparkly bag with some red and green tissue paper" wrapper. Those two things are completely acceptable to most people, but not to a family of Christmas-a-holics. I had always put so much thought into finding the perfect gift for each person on my list.

And every year I chose a theme for my wrapping paper and ribbons. Sometimes (actually most of the time) it was red and gold, other times green and silver, and I think once I went with blue, but that didn't feel Christmassy enough for me. And then it all stopped. I bought whatever dollar store wrapping paper and those boring stick on bows if I was actually wrapping and not bagging it. It was just something I had to do that time of year. 

But this year is different. Now that J is here, I feel like Christmas is magical again. I love going to the stores and seeing the glittering Christmas decorations. Christmas music is on before Halloween? That's totally fine this year says the girl who is walking through Michael's singing Frosty the Snowman to my 6 month old. I love telling her about Santa and I'm debating Elf on a Shelf in the years to come.

Once again, I am on a mission to find the perfect gifts - I LOVE giving presents and watching people open them. I really do believe that it's better to give than to receive - I haven't decided on a wrapping paper theme yet, but I may try gold and navy if I can find it. Otherwise I'll go with my trusty red and gold.

I really believe that this will be the best Christmas in a very long time, and I can't wait.

The magic is back!!!