I will most likely be updating this post as the next three months [tick or fly] by.
Someone asked me about my birth plan a couple of months ago and I said, "huh?" Honestly, I had never given much thought to such a thing. My guess was that labor will go something like this:
1. Water breaks in the middle of the night and I yell, "Honey! It's time!"
2. Hubs jumps out of bed, helps me down the stairs and grabs my bags as we make our way to the car. Luckily it's the middle of the night so there's no traffic and we get to the hospital in under ten minutes.
3. I end up in the delivery room, push for a few minutes and poof! Brand new, beautiful baby girl is in my arms by sunrise.
Yeah........silly, naive me. I know.
I started looking up birth plans and WOW! Some people are just nuts. I did come across this satirical birth plan which pretty much sums up a lot of what I found.
I decided to ask my doctor about this at my next appointment. Her response was an eye roll, an irritated grunt, and a snide remark letting me know that the idea of a birth plan is utterly ridiculous as far as she's concerned. All right then (see my post about finding a new OB). I have a call into a new practice and hopefully they will go over my "plan".
It doesn't include much at this point but here's what I have so far:
1) I want drugs...and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt about that. I've met people who have this overwhelming desire to "feel childbirth". I think some women worry about the baby and some want to feel empowered. Me? I want this baby out in one piece and I have zero desire to feel that happening.
2) No Pitocin or any other type of induction. Not only are they linking Pitocin to Autism (along with just about everything else), but everyone I've spoken with who has had Pitocin said it's the worst thing ever.
From what I understand, Pitocin contractions are the worst. And everyone I know who has been induced with Pitocin ended up with a c-section anyway. So, as far as I'm concerned, just pencil me in for a cesarean.
3) I do not want any residents or students (medical, nursing or otherwise) involved in my birth. I get that they're there to learn, but learn on someone else.
4) This may make me sound like a horrible mother, but I'd like them to clean the baby before putting her on me. I just think it's kind of gross to hold and kiss a baby covered in birth stuff. I've waited this long to meet her, I can wait another few minutes while they clean her up before I hold her.
And that's the extent of my plan for now. It's a pretty simple, no frills birth plan. No hypnosis, dim lighting, soft music, or any other kooky requirements or prohibitions. Like I said earlier, I'm sure this can and will change a bit over the next couple of months.
UPDATED
My how things have changed.
For starters, I switched OBs and I am so glad that I did. In switching OBs, however, I also switched hospitals and again, I'm so glad that I did. I have an earlier post about why I needed to leave the old practice, so I won't get into that again here. I am currently in a practice that has one doctor, one nurse practitioner, and one physician's assistant. I have met with all three of them and have zero complaints. I don't feel stupid for asking questions, and I never feel rushed.
The hospital where I will deliver is also much smaller and more personal. The only down side is that you are not guaranteed your own room. This is a huge problem for someone who is allergic to everything and who has a bad case of misophonia. I will be informing the delivery nurses of my allergies as well as my allergy induced asthma and the fact that breathing has been incredibly difficult throughout much of this pregnancy. I was told to do this while on our hospital tour by one of the nurses after I spoke to her about my concerns. Hopefully they keep me by myself.
Another great perk about the new hospital is that there are no residents, medical or nursing students to worry about.
I also have Gestational Diabetes and am on insulin, which means that if I go into labor naturally I can deliver naturally. However, if this doesn't happen before April 30, then I will be having a c-section. I had an exam earlier this week and she doesn't appear to be in any hurry to vacate the premises so I am banking on the c-section.
So I guess that all solves a lot of my birth plan issues. There will be no students and no induction. Drugs will be given and I won't be able to hold the baby right away anyway. She will be bathed first. Sounds good so far!
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