Where is my Mary Poppins?

During my anxiety-ridden week (if you haven't read my last post, this is the week my husband brought up daycare and I had a total meltdown), I had posted an angry Facebook status about how much I hate living in an area where I will be forced to allow strangers to raise my kids because it's too expensive to do otherwise.

After I had calmed down, my mother-in-law told me that she had been hurt by my post because it seemed like I felt that she wasn't good enough to watch our daughter.  Actually, I had never thought to ask her because I simply didn't think it was something she would agree to.  She also has a history of being unreliable.  Well, since she was in fact interested, I was thrilled.  If she was willing to commit, I'd much prefer to have our daughter taken care of by her grandmother as opposed to strangers.  And then it started.

It started with her saying that she couldn't commit to five days a week (totally understandable) but instead would commit to two or three days.  No problem.  I will absolutely find someone to watch the baby the remaining two or three days.  Then, earlier this week, my husband casually told someone that his mother was willing to watch the baby one, maybe two days a week.  Alright then.  Good thing she told this to my husband who rarely remembers to relay the messages to me.  I can't say I'm surprised - this is the kind of thing I expected and the primary reason why I didn't consider her in the first place.  So now the hunt is on for a full-time nanny as opposed to a part-time nanny.  I figured it might not be so bad.  I mean, I "nannied" throughout college and I was great!  I actually played with the kids, took them to the park, and really enjoyed them.  Surely I can't be the only one.  But how do I go about finding someone like myself?

My husband came home with the idea of using Care.com after hearing about it from his co-workers.  I had seen the commercials but never really thought much of it.  But hey, I'm open so let's give it a try.  I placed the following ad:

We are looking for a caring, mature, intelligent, and responsible nanny to care for our infant daughter 2-3 days per week for a maximum of eight (8) hours beginning in the Fall of 2014 in our home only. Days are listed as Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but are flexible.

Experience, references and appropriate immunizations are a must.

We're looking for:

• Non-smoker
• Comfortable with pets
• Has a car

All I can say is Wow to the responses we have gotten.  There was only one good one - ONE!  And I think she must have misread the timeframe because she never responded back about setting up an interview.  Now, keep in mind that I am a high school English teacher.  I deal with kids not reading or following instructions and correcting grammar, spelling, and other mechanics on a daily basis.  I should not have to worry about these issues with an adult who is going to be caring for my child.  However, I found that if I printed out these "applications", the life span of my red pen would be very short lived.

To respond to a few of these applicants so you can have an idea of what I'm dealing with:

1) No, I will not drop my daughter off at your house.  Please note that the ad says "in our home only".

2) No, you cannot bring your child(ren) to my house while you are being paid to watch my child.

3) What is an assco degree?

4) "I" should always be capitalized.

5) Punctuation is your friend.

6) No, I will not draw up a "nanny contract".

7)  No matter what you say I'm paying for, $20 an hour is not going to happen.

8)  Just leaving your name and number is not going to get me to call you.

9)  If you don't have a picture up, I'm curious as to why.  And if I have to be curious, I will be worried and therefore, you will not be considered.  I need to see that you're somewhat normal looking.

10) If you're 20 and have been working full-time in the local mall for the last two years and are looking to make some extra money to help out your live-in boyfriend and his kid, then no.  I don't think that this is a perfect fit for you.

That's all I've got for now.  But seriously........where is my Mary Poppins?   Maybe I'll revise my ad to say just that: Professional Couple seeks modern day Mary Poppins for infant daughter.  Hell - if these people can respond to ads and sound like complete morons, why can't I post an ad and sound like I mean business?  Hmmm.......