Something BIG Is In the Works!

Back in January I wrote about losing all direction when it came to blogging. I pretty much just let the whole thing go and figured that if this is something I'm meant to do then an idea will find me.

Well, it found me. I'm not going to give it away just yet as it's in the super early stages of planning and team building, but my hopes are that the project will start out small and eventually turn into something really big and really great. My hope is that this idea will literally change lives. And it will as long as I can get it off the ground.

Stay tuned!

No Direction Here

I've been away from this blogging business for a little bit. I spent two weeks up north for Christmas and just kind of fell out of my routine. When I got back, I had little motivation to write anything. I couldn't figure out why. I mean, I always have thoughts circling around in my head - sometimes good, sometimes bad - and I actually did type up a few posts but they're still sitting in my "drafts" unedited and unfinished. But again, I have almost zero motivation to do anything with them. Why? I'm not really sure.

I've been picking up in terms of freelance work, which is fantastic. So I've actually been pretty busy with that during the precious free time I have when J is actually taking a nap. And if I'm not blogging for my freelance gig, I just don't really feel like blogging here.

This job also requires that I watch my fair share of reality tv **comments to yourselves...I'm getting paid***. One night, while binge watching an entire season of Kendra On Top, my husband asked me what I thought it might be like if we had our own reality show. And do you know what? It would be pretty flipping boring. Seriously. I am probably one of the most uninteresting people I know. Which is another reason why I can't seem to figure out a direction for my own blog.

Going back and taking a quick look through some of my older posts, I am, for the most part, all over the place here. It started out as a pregnancy/mom blog. But there are a million of those and all of the good niches are taken. I'm not crunchy, nasty or funny. Nor do I really want to slather Baby J's face all over the internet no matter how adorable it may be. I really just do my own thing in terms of parenting and it's not very interesting.

Then it kind of turned into cooking. I love to cook and I love being a stay-at-home mom. So then I thought, maybe just an average stay-at-home mom's blog. I mean, a lot of people do wonder what SAHMs do all day long (one of my unfinished posts was written after hubby made a comment about how I get to nap during the day. Yes, he seriously said that and I almost hit him). And then I got on this Wheat Belly diet kick and messed that whole thing up.

So I think the fact that I just don't have a solid direction here is making it really hard to pick back up.

Although, now I feel like I do have a lot going on. I realized that we are basically going to have to start saving up for a house from scratch. So I have spent a lot of time this past week trying to teach myself how to really budget. I've always loved saving money - finding a great sale gives me such a rush! But the problem is that because I save so much every time I shop, I really end up spending too much because I get ALL the deals! Like, I buy things I really don't need just because I'm getting such a great deal. No good. Basically, we need to make huge lifestyle changes and since payday was today, today was officially Day 1.

So maybe I'll share some of the things I learn along the way. And please feel free to comment and share any tips or tricks that you may have!

So about that Wheat Belly diet...

It's stupid. While some people swear by it, I just can't. I made it a little more than a week. Over the course of that week, here's what I learned:

1) I really don't eat that much bread or pasta anyway. Adding a menial amount of crushed crackers or bread crumbs to one of my recipes is not preventing me from losing weight. Nor is one bowl of protein and fiber packed steel cut oats in the morning.

2) More veggies are good. I actually love vegetables to begin with - especially when they're fresh - and I have been making more of a conscious effort to make more of them since I started this a week ago. So that's a plus.

3) Shiritaki noodles are disgusting. I didn't actually eat them because the smell was so rancid (the package actually tells you to boil or microwave the noodles first to help weaken the "natural aroma" of these nasty things). They smell like chemicals.

4) I just can't do "diets". Just knowing that I couldn't have something only made me crave it. So yes, I totally failed.

Well, at least I tried it, right?

The First Week

I love the NyQuil commercial with the dad who walks into his son's room and says that he will be needing a sick day. But in reality, dads don't take sick days - they take NyQuil.

My cold got the better of me last week and while I couldn't take a day off from J, I did take a few days off from writing. And while I still have some lingering congestion, my head no longer feels like a giant water balloon and I'm not about to drop dead from exhaustion.

So days 5 and 6 of my Wheat Belly diet were pretty decent. I don't remember which day was which, but my breakfasts were pretty much the same: two egg whites and one whole egg. One day I added fresh baby spinach and some feta cheese, while the other day I just added a slice of swiss.

Lunches were leftovers: I finished up my minestrone soup and the other day I had....I actually don't remember.

Dinners: I made a roast chicken and brussels sprouts and the other night was steak and sautéed green beans.

I gave myself Saturday off. And it was bad. Bagel for breakfast, chicken sandwich for lunch, and eggplant parmesan for dinner with chocolate cake for dessert (in all fairness, dessert happened because we went to family's house for dinner)!

Sunday was better: eggs for brunch and I made Spanish chicken for dinner. Normally I serve this dish over rice, but I skipped that last night and served it with sautéed green beans.

The scale was down a total of 1lb. Yup. That's it. Despite the gallons of water and tea that I drank all week, the lack of salt and sugar in my diet together with the lack of carbs and snacks. Granted, I didn't work out at all because I was sick, but the fact that the scale only budged 1 pound isn't exactly encouraging.

My biggest problem, however, with this diet is that I love to cook. I love finding new recipes or tweaking a recipe to make it my own. Now, when I come across a recipe that looks or sounds yummy,  I find myself saying "well, can't make that because it calls for bread crumbs", or something like that.

So I'm thinking that I'll give it another couple of weeks and see what happens once I add workouts to the mix.

And for now, I'm off to make some chicken noodle soup...sans noodles.  

Day 4

I suck at life when I'm sick. For the first time ever, I completely burned dinner. As in, charred and black. I can't even tell you what happened so I'm going to blame it on the fact that I can't smell and my head feels like a water balloon.

Waiting for hubs to get home from work to see what he wants to do about this - my guess is that he'll seize this opportunity to grab some takeout. Fail.

Anyway, the rest of the day was okay. I was craving snacks today - nothing in particular, but I wanted something crunchy. Good thing I threw out all of the chips and chex mix!

Breakfast: 4 small wheat-free, gluten-free toaster waffles courtesy of Trader Joe's. Not so great since they do have potato starch, but I still avoided the wheat.

Lunch: Leftover minestrone soup.

Dinner: Was supposed to be maple pecan crusted chicken with a side of roasted brussels sprouts (those came out just fine) but now it's TBD.

Drinks: Tons of water and tea.

Snacks: I think I had 2 or 3 oranges (I bought an 8 lb bag at Whole Foods for $6 so I'll be eating these for a while!) I also had one square of chocolate.

Overall: Definitely not my best day and I'm only 4 days in. Like I said earlier, my head feels like an overfilled water balloon so I had zero desire to cook breakfast this morning. And as for dinner, I haven't even cleaned it up. I just want it to go away so I can go to bed.

Minestrone Soup

This soup is so easy to make and is a great way to get rid of those veggies in your fridge that are looking a little...well, less than fresh.

Being sick and exhausted, I did this as quickly as I could. There's a lot you can add to this soup (zucchini, fresh green beans, kidney beans, ground beef or turkey, tiny pasta, etc.) but I kept it simple this time.

Ingredients:

• 1 large (or two medium) yellow onions, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 3-4 stalks of celery
• 4-5 carrots, peeled and sliced. Or you can use a few handfuls of chopped baby carrots - I never measure these out. I just add however many I want)
• 5 cups beef broth
• 1 can diced tomatoes (I don't drain them)
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• Palmful of italian seasoning

Directions: 

• In a medium-large soup pot, saute onion, garlic and celery until softened in vegetable oil. 
• Stir in the broth, tomatoes, tomato sauce, salt, pepper and seasonings. Bring to a boil. 
• Reduce heat, cover and simmer for one hour. 

If you want to add zucchini, beans, pasta, add after one hour and then simmer another 20 minutes before serving. 

If adding ground beef or turkey, cook the meat first and then add with the zucchini, beans, etc. 

Top with freshly grated parmesan cheese and enjoy!

Day 3

The cold that my husband and J have been fighting off finally hit me at about 3:30 this morning. My head feels like it weighs 100 lbs and my throat is killing me. The fact that J is non-stop on the go is not helping anything. Did I mention that she's climbing things now?

Anyway, while it would be easiest to either skip meals or have my husband bring home takeout, I'm determined to stick to this Wheat Belly thing.

Breakfast: 1 egg yolk, 2 egg whites scrambled with a handful of fresh baby spinach and one slice of swiss cheese. 1/2 avocado and a piece of wheat free focaccia with some cream cheese.

Lunch: One piece of leftover sweet potato kale pizza from last night (my husband normally steals all of the leftovers but he wasn't a fan of this pizza.)

Dinner: I managed to whip up a quick batch of Minestrone soup this afternoon. Sorry, no pictures of the process today.

Snacks: I ate two or three oranges in hopes that they'll help fight this off.

Drinks: Copious amounts of water and tea with honey.

Exercise: Nope

Overall: I feel like crap. J is napping now which is just enough time for me to get this post done and go close my eyes for a bit.

Until tomorrow.

Sweet Potato Kale Pizza

I've made this recipe a few times in the past so I've kind of perfected it. Although tonight, I made it using a wheat free pizza crust and not only was it delicious, but it was filling (I had two slices).

Ingredients:
Pizza Crust

• 2 1/2 cups All-Purpose Baking Mix
• 4 cups almond meal/flour; 1 cup ground golden flaxseeds; 1/4 cup coconut flour; 2 tsp baking soda - mix everything together. This makes enough all-purpose baking mix to last a few days.
• 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1 egg
• 2 Tbsp EVOO 
• 1/2 cup water 

Topping

• 2-3 medium sweet potatoes
• Shaved parmesan cheese
• Fresh kale

Materials:

• Pizza stone (I have the large white stone and am obsessed with it!)
• Measuring cups
• Measuring spoons
• Pizza cutter
• Mix n' Scraper
• Electric hand mixer

Directions: 

• Peel potatoes, slice and boil until fork tender. Drain when finished and return to pot. Using an electric hand mixer, whip the potatoes. Add a splash of EVOO to give them a smooth consistency (making them easy to spread).
• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. 
• To make the crust: In a medium bowl, combine the baking mix and mozzarella cheese. 
  
• In a small bowl, mix together the egg, oil and water. Pour into the flour mixture and combine thoroughly.
  
• Lay the dough on the pizza stone and, with moistened hands (I added some water to the bowl which had the dough in it so that I could dip my fingers/hands as needed), press into a 12" circle, forming an outer edge. Bake for 10 minutes. Reduce the heat to 350. 
  
• Spread the whipped sweet potato on the crust. 
  
• Add parmesan cheese (I have tried a few cheeses/cheese blends and find the parmesan works the best with the sweet potato and kale) to taste. 
  
• Top with a generous amount of fresh kale, ripped into small pieces. 

• Bake for 10-15 minutes or until cheese is melted and kale is crispy. 

Enjoy!

Herbed Focaccia

It made me happy to find a bread recipe in the Wheat Belly cookbook. Like, really happy. It made me even happier when the bread turned out good. So here's the recipe.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups All-Purpose Baking Mix
• 4 cups almond meal/flour; 1 cup ground golden flaxseeds; 1/4 cup coconut flour; 2 tsp baking soda - mix everything together. This makes enough all-purpose baking mix to last a few days. 
• 2 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 Tbsp vinegar (I used apple cider vinegar because that's all I had in the pantry)
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 3 eggs, whisked
• 1 tsp xanthan gum (optional) - I have no idea what this is so I didn't use it

Materials:

• Large pizza stone (I have it in white - LOVE this!)
• Spring coil whisk
• Measuring spoons
• Measuring cup
• Pizza cutter

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 375 degrees
• In a large bowl, place the baking mix. (I added 2 Tbsp ground rosemary, 1 tsp dried oregano and 1 tsp of garlic powder here).
  
• In a small bowl, combine oil, vinegar, water, xanthan gum (if desired), and salt. Add to the baking mix and quickly mix together. Let sit for 1 minute, then add the whisked eggs and mix together thoroughly. 
  
  
• With moistened hands, place the dough on the stone and shape into an 8 x 12 rectangle. 
  
• Bake for 15 minutes, or until slightly browned. 
• Using a pizza cutter, cut into pieces and store in the refrigerator. 
  

Davis notes that "the sequence of adding the ingredients specified...must be followed as written to avoid the common "baker's ammonia" effect, the result of adding baking soda in the baking mix reacting with the proteins in the eggs, generating an ammonia smell, which is unpleasant. When you add the vinegar first, the acetic acid in the vinegar will react with the baking soda, preventing the reaction with the egg."

Day 2

It's day 2 of my new Wheat Belly lifestyle.

Baby J is still sick - her cough and snot bubbles are breaking my heart - and up a lot at night. So there was no running or gym for me today because I just couldn't get my butt out of bed at 6am (I had been up from 3:20-4:00am).

My second wheat free day looked like this:

Breakfast: Leftover steel cut oats and raisins

Lunch: Cream of mushroom soup with a piece of herbed focaccia bread (wheat free)
             *This soup wasn't bad, but I just didn't love it so I'm not going to bother posting the
               recipe. If you really really want it, shoot me a message and I'll post it.

Dinner: Sweet potato kale pizza

Snacks: Orange

Drinks: morning cup of coffee, ice water

Exercise: None unless cleaning the house counts for something.

Overall: I'm really terrible when it comes to lunch. If I'm not going out to lunch or if there are no leftovers in the house, I usually won't sit down and have a healthy lunch. Today I popped over to the library and I swear I heard Chick-fil-a calling my name on the way home. It's just so easy! And as for leftovers, those are hard to come by during the week since the hubs always takes them to work.

So if I can make it a point to eat a healthy lunch every day, I will consider myself successful.

Pork Fried "Rice"

This recipe is from the Wheat Belly 30-Minute (Or less!) Cookbook.

Ingredients:

• 1 head cauliflower, broken into large pieces
• 2 Tbsp coconut oil, divided
• 4 scallions, sliced (I swore I bought these, but I guess I didn't. So I left them out)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 eggs, whisked
• 1/2 pound pork tenderloin, cut into 1/2" cubes
• 1/4 cup tamari or gluten-free soy sauce (I used tamari)

Materials:

• Executive cookware stir-fry skillet
• Manual food processor
• Bamboo spatula set
• 5" Utility knife
• Large grooved cutting board
• Garlic press

Directions:

• Using the manual food processor, shred the cauliflower. Place in a microwaveable bowl. Cover and microwave for 4 minutes, stirring once, or until desired doneness. 

  

  Cauliflower after going through the food processor

• Meanwhile, heat 1 Tbsp of the oil in the stir-fry skillet. Cook the scallions and garlic for 2 minutes. Add the eggs and stir continuously until cooked through and slightly browned. Remove the egg mixture to a bowl and set aside. 
• Reduce heat to medium. Add the remaining 1 Tbsp of oil to the skillet. Cook the pork, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes or until no longer pink. Stir in the tamari, steamed cauliflower, and the reserved egg mixture. Cook, stirring for 2 minutes, or until heated through. 

*I was going to add carrots for some reason but decided against it. So they are in the picture, but not in the finished product. 

It was delicious. Enjoy!

Day 1

Hi. I'm Chunky McChunkerson. And looking at these pictures up here, on the world-wide web, makes me give real props to my husband. I gather that I need not explain why. 

Day 1 of my Wheat Belly experience

This picture is easily the most personal thing I have ever put on this blog. And the fact that this is out there now scares the crap out of me. But it's the real deal. 

This is me. I am just under 5'8, and this is 8 months and 4 days after having a baby, and 4 days after the end of the holiday season. I'm not proud. 

Today I cleaned out the pantry, fridge and freezer. Among the refuse was: a dozen and a half New York bagels (ouch), a bag of pretzels, Doritos (NOT MINE!), Chex-Mix and Asiago Cheez-its (those were all mine). Looking at it reminded me of what I said to my mother a few days ago: "I don't eat junk food so I don't understand why I'm so fat". I actually believed that I didn't eat junk food, and yet there it was sitting in my pantry (none of it unopened). 

Then I set to work creating a cleaner kitchen. Last night I went through the Wheat Belly Cookbook and flagged all of the recipes that sound good (I am going to be sticking to the cookbook recipes until I get used to cooking wheat free meals), so this morning I started testing some of them out. 

*Actually, I'm lying - I made Pork Fried "Rice" last night and it was surprisingly delicious. 

Here's what my day looked like today:

Breakfast: Steel cut oats (not sure if these are on the "do not eat" list since I haven't gotten far enough into the book yet. But I've heard that steel cut oats are really good for you so I'm running with that for now) that I had cooking in the crock pot overnight. I added just under 1/4 cup of organic raisins. It was filling and satisfying.

Lunch: Leftover pork fried "rice". This recipe uses shredded cauliflower as a substitute for rice and honestly, even my husband was amazed at how much it worked. 

Dinner: Roasted, herbed pork tenderloin (leftover from last night as only half of it was used for the fried rice recipe) with sautéed green beans. 

Snacks: I grabbed two oranges earlier in the day and had a piece of chocolate after dinner...yes, chocolate. 

Drinks: I had my morning cup of coffee but drank strictly ice water throughout the rest of the day. 

Exercise: I took the dog on a two mile walk this morning. I went and actually joined the gym today with intentions of going to classes on days I don't run. However, Baby J is sick right now and therefore up every three hours. Mommy isn't getting any sleep let alone exercise. 

Overall:  At no point today did I feel hungry. I did feel tired, but I attribute that to lack of sleep due to J's cold. Do I think this is doable? Yes. Right now I am feeling optimistic. 

Wheat Belly

A few months ago, one of my best friends started raving about what I immediately thought was the newest fad diet. Isn't eliminating carbs the Atkins Diet? And I'm pretty sure that in the long term that didn't work out well for most people (I heard that as soon as carbs were reintroduced people ballooned).

Long story short, she told me that another friend of hers started following the plan to a "T" and swears that her life has been completely changed. My friend doesn't follow it as strictly - allowing herself little indulgences here and there - and she still looks fantastic and also swears that, overall, she feels amazing; that not only has the weight been melting off, but she has more energy and rarely feels lethargic.

Now, as for me, I've never been able to really follow diets very well. I briefly entertained starting the Dukan Diet (even bought the book) but only because I read somewhere that that's what keeps Kate Middleton so thin. I never read it.

The Wheat Belly Diet freaks me out. When I eat at restaurants, I love the bread. And while I rarely eat pasta, sandwiches or breakfast cereal, I adore waffles and french toast casserole. Eggs benedict, served on their toasty little English muffins, bagels and pizza are also some of my best frenemies.

The problem is that it shows. I am about 40 pounds heavier than I would like to be, and all I see when I look at pictures of myself is a bakery. Buns and rolls galore. Although I'd love nothing more than to fit back into my size 4s, I clearly haven't wanted it badly enough since I just bought a new pair of size 8 jeans. The holidays didn't help and I haven't gone for a run in over two weeks (there was no way I was running in 30 degree weather).

With that being said, I am giving Wheat Belly a try. I just borrowed the book and the cookbook from my library and will be cracking them open today.

Before I start, here are my chief concerns:

1. Wheat is in everything. This is going to be too hard for me to really follow.

2. Cooking is now going to require all sorts of funky ingredients that I'll be lucky if I am able to find in Whole Foods.

3. Food is going to taste like cardboard.

4. My husband is a picky eater. While he's the first to promote healthy eating, his reaction is usually less than pleased when I do make healthy meal ("meh, it's okay. It's healthy" which translates to "yuck").

Hopefully I can make this work. I'm not going to give myself a time frame, but I will document my experience here including when I cheat (because I am bound to cheat at some point). I am starting today - Sunday, January 4, 2015 - so Sundays will be my weigh-in days. Ultimately, I need a lifestyle change if I am going to be successful.

So I guess let's consider that one of my New Year's Resolutions: instead of the banal "lose weight" I will say "I am going to change my lifestyle". Here goes nothing!

Tonight's Prayer For My Daughter

One of my favorite books, and one of the most important books of all time is Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. 

So you can imagine my delight when I came across this piece of artwork while down in St. Augustine. Not only because it's from Farenheit, but because these words sum up exactly what I want for my daughter. 

I want her to see the world. Not just in books and movies; not superficially for the purpose of taking a selfie which she can post to facebook, Instagram, or whatever kids are using when she is old enough to have such a thing; and not briefly. I want her to REALLY SEE the world. I want her to stuff her eyes and her heart with wonder and live as though each day was her last because, as Bradbury wrote, there are no guarantees or securities. I want her to shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass. 

As I said in an earlier post, I want her to live. I want her to find a passion and follow it. 

Lord, help me guide her so that she might really see the world the way you intended it to be seen and to live a life that is fulfilling to your will and to her. Help stuff her eyes with wonder and her heart with joy, compassion, grace and love. Enable me to teach her about the things that really matter in this life so that she may pursue her passions with a pure heart. Amen.

And for the record, I went into that store to buy this with the intention of hanging it above her crib. Then they told me it was $400 and something dollars. No thanks! Any Pinterest pros out there? How can make one of these myself?

Sometimes We Just Need That Reminder

As my husband, J and I left my in-laws' at 10pm on Christmas Eve, the biggest thing weighing on my mind was the need to assemble J's Potterybarn "Anywhere Chair" as well as stuff her stocking and wrap three wayward presents. We wouldn't be getting to my mom's house until after midnight, so I was hoping that we could get it done fairly quickly. 

We picked up the dog and by 10:30 we were en route to New England when my mom called to tell us that their well pump had just broken. They had no water in the house and although the well companies all have an emergency number, they don't do emergencies at 10:30 on Christmas Eve.

My husband, unwilling to spend Christmas in a hotel (or a house with no running water) turned the car around and went back to his mother's house. We would spend the night there, shower and bathe J in the morning, and then head to my mom's.

 I was so upset and thinking that this would be one of the worst Christmases ever. I did not want to travel on Christmas morning, and I wanted J to wake up and come downstairs to see that Santa had come (even though at barely 8 months I know she couldn't have cared less). And I needed that stupid chair assembled!!! I needed to give my daughter the perfect first Christmas experience. How foolish I was.

It wasn't until the day after Christmas when I was reminded about what truly matters, and nothing from Potterybarn makes that list.

One of the women from my mom's group asked for prayers on behalf of family friends who were in a horrific car accident on Christmas Eve which left the dad in critical condition. Worse, their 12 year old daughter succumbed to her injuries on Christmas night. 

Today, a little girl lost her battle with Krabbe Disease just two weeks shy of her second birthday. 

My heart hurts so much for these families and the countless others who have encountered tragedies this Christmas. I found myself ashamed that while I was upset about assembling a silly chair, another family was being rushed to the hospital; while I was worried about giving my daughter the "perfect Christmas", yet another family was simply praying that their little girl would make it to Christmas.

As I lay here in bed, listening to my own perfect, healthy and happy little girl snoring away in her crib, I can't help but close my eyes and fervently thank God for...well, for everything. Having a healthy daughter, my brother just returned safely home from Afghanistan, and a house with running water; friends who travelled to spend time with us; listening to J's peals of laughter as she plays with my mom in the other room; my husband making it safely back to Florida. All of that made for a perfect Christmas.

I guess sometimes we all need a little reminding about what is truly important in our lives. So tonight, be reminded of the blessings you have in your life and, be it to God, the universe or some other, higher power, say thank you. 

Tex-Mex Quinoa Bake

Every so often my husband and I like to mix it up and go vegetarian for a few days. I feel like it cleans out my whole system (there may be absolutely zero truth to that, but that's how I feel). Anyway, although it looks like birdseed, quinoa is both protein- and fiber-rich and this recipe actually makes it taste great. I found this in my September 2014 issue of Clean Eating Magazine.

Ingredients:

• Olive oil cooking spray (I used Safflower Oil)
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed (I used the multi-colored quinoa and rarely rinse because I'm lazy)
• 1/2 tsp plus 1/8 tsp sea salt, divided (I used kosher salt)
• 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp ground coriander
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1 small, sweet onion, finely chopped (this manual food processor is my FAVE for chopping onions!!!)
• 1 small red bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped (sometimes I use different colors because it's fun)
• 1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
• 1 cup frozen corn kernels (I used a can)
• 1 15-oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 4 oz shredded Mexican cheese blend of a mix of half cheddar and half Jack cheese (about 1 cup packed)
• 1/4 cup packed chopped fresh cilantro leaves (I usually have this on hand when I make this dish because I make fresh guacamole to go with it. However, I've made it without and it is still good)

Tools Used:

• Manual Food Processor 
• Executive 12" Skillet 
• Bamboo Specialty Cooking Set

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350
• In a medium saucepan, bring 2 cups of water to a boil. Stir in quinoa and 1/2 tsp salt. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Remove from heat and rest, covered, for 5 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl. Add cumin and coriander, and stir gently to combine.
• Meanwhile, in a large skillet on medium-high, heat oil. Add onion, bell pepper, black pepper, and remaining 1/8 tsp salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned (about 8-10 minutes). 
• Add corn and 1/4 cup water (I don't add the water when using canned corn which is most of the time) and simmer until most of the liquid evaporates and the corn is heated through, about 3 minutes. 
• Add black beans and cook, stirring occasionally until heated through, about 1 minute. 
  
• Add mixture to the bowl with cooked quinoa and stir gently to combine. Stir in 3 oz cheese and cilantro.
• Transfer quinoa mixture to a baking dish and sprinkle remaining 1 oz cheese over top. Bake until cheese is melted, 10-12 minutes. Rest for 5 minutes before serving. 
  

  

  
• Top with freshly made guacamole and enjoy!

I'm Dreaming of a Big Chill Christmas

Maybe it was my talking about how I should have been a 1950s housewife or actually watching two episodes of I Love Lucy yesterday that prompted my dream last night. Are you ready for this? I actually dreamt of appliances.

Last night I dreamt that I found (yes, found!) this amazing pair of 1950s style refrigerators. One was mint and the other was a pretty pastel blue. They were just sitting there, all alone in some tall beach grass. Then, out of nowhere, a woman came out and congratulated me on finding them. She then told me that since I had found them, I could pick one and keep it. OMG! A new fridge!!! And I WON IT (I never win anything)! I chose the blue one, but I woke up before I was able to get it home. I was bummed about that.

I had never actually seen this type of refrigerator in a store. In fact, the only place I've seen it was in a People Magazine article where it was listed as one of Miranda Lambert's favorite things (it's slide number 5 and hers is pink). I had to know more about them.

I woke up this morning and have been sitting here reading about these wondrous creations and just pinning amazing kitchens designed around Big Chill appliances. I think I'm in love.

Big Chill appliances were founded in 2001 in Boulder, Colorado by Thom Vernon and his nephew, Orion Creamer. Thom wanted something for his vintage beach house: "a retro design with modern functionality".

These energy efficient refrigerators boast a steel body with chrome trim, and are available in over 200 custom colors. (actually, the whole thing is customizable) Oh...and they come in mini size which means you can keep one in your office or give your kid the coolest fridge in the dorms. Then I found that they do more than just refrigerators - ranges, microwaves, hoods, and  dishwashers - which means that I can have a full Big Chill kitchen in my new house! Omg YES!!!

So naturally, I started pinning away. Check out what I found. Almost immediately, I found my new dream kitchen. Here it is:

THIS IS THE COLOR FROM MY DREAM!!!

I absolutely love this shade of blue with the dark cabinets

Even without the pop of color, Big Chill still makes for an amazing looking kitchen

Here is the other color I dreamt about!

The possibilities are endless

These appliances are a designer's dream and my new obsession so of course I had to share it. Now I'm off to revise my letter to Santa ;)

How Did This Happen?

I wrote a post about being born in the wrong era, and I figured I would explain it a little bit more for those of you who think I'm crazy. There actually was a time when I wanted a career and a family.

Once upon a time I had a dream.

Ever since I could remember, I loved animals (a love which I am hoping to pass on to J) and wanted nothing more than to work with them. I was going to be a veterinarian. Yes, a lot of little girls want to be vets but I really wanted it. My high school required all students to complete 40 hours of community service over the course of four years in order to graduate. When I heard this in the very beginning of ninth grade, I immediately got to work.

I sent letters to all of the veterinary practices in my small Connecticut shoreline town explaining who I was and asking if they would let me come and volunteer. I would clean cages, feed animals or just spend time with those who needed a little something extra. I heard back from one. They told me that they didn't need the help right now, but I could check back in in a few months. I followed up and they took me on.

I loved working at the animal hospital. I took it seriously and I was good at it. When my 40 hours were up, I was offered a paid, part-time position and by the time I was a senior in high school, I was doing everything a licensed technician could do. They trusted me! I had absolutely no doubts that this was what I wanted to spend my life doing.

When I started college, I knew that I was horrible at math. I had struggled with it throughout high school and grew to hate it. However, in college I did my best to change my attitude. I needed math and I wanted to be good at it. I took advantage of professors' office hours, TAs, and even set up tutoring.

When I was working through problems with someone, I got it. When I sat down to take my tests, I was confident. And then I would get the test back with grades in the 20s. Once I even scored a 14. I just kept failing. The second algebra professor I had, Professor Don, announced on the first day that she did not allow the use of calculators under any circumstances. I immediately started to panic. I stayed after class to talk to her. I explained that my goal was veterinary school but math was a huge obstacle for me. Instead of giving me some tips, she laughed in my face and told me I was setting myself up for failure. This made me want to try even harder and I refused to drop her class. I was going to show her. Well, she was right. I failed. Again.

I took Algebra four times in college before I passed it (the last time I took it was at a local community college so that I could get a C+ and only the credit would transfer over to the University). It was awful. My parents told me that they weren't paying all this money for me to be on academic probation (I kept failing Chemistry too because it required lots of math) and if I didn't find a new major, I was going to have to find a way to pay for school on my own. That's when I started majoring in English.

I was good at English. I loved reading (I had loved reading my entire life) and writing papers. My GPA went up significantly (I was only .4 points away from graduating Cum Laude) and my parents were happy. Then came the big question: what am I going to do with an English degree? Someone suggested becoming an English teacher. Since vet school was now out of the question because of math, I literally shrugged and said, "Okay, I guess". Becoming a vet was the only career I had ever considered for myself. There were no other options for me. And so I just picked teaching because I had to pick something.

It took me years to get over the fact that the one big dream I had in my life was dead and gone. And even now, if I really think about it, I can't say that I'm completely over it. Any drive I had to be a successful career woman died with my dreams of veterinary school (I had wanted to build my own practice like the amazing one I worked for in high school). Teaching was a job. Nothing more (I don't even think I was really any good at it) and nothing less. It wasn't awful; I met a lot of great kids, but it wasn't anything I was passionate about.

I look at one of my best friends now. She is a machine, working her way up the corporate ladder in a world I know nothing about. But I hear her stories - most recently about how she just negotiated herself an office so that she could do some freelance work during her down time and not be bothered - and every so often I feel a pang. A little pang that wishes I had her drive to be a successful businesswoman negotiating an office for myself. And then I feel a touch of inadequacy. For the first time since I was 14 years old, I don't have a job. I don't have a career. What could I, or should I, have done differently?

The pangs do go away, eventually. I love being a mom and I'm sure that someday I can use my failure to teach my daughter about perseverance; to follow her dreams no matter how hard the road.

One thing I know for sure is that I will do everything I can to make sure that she follows her dreams. If she happens to develop a passion for helping animals and wants to go spend a summer volunteering at The Lion Park in South Africa (I wanted to go work with the hyenas after watching a special on Discovery Channel), then I will make sure she gets on a plane and goes. I want her to have passion, and I want her to be driven. I never want her to feel as though she missed out on something or settled for a career because she just had to pick something. I want her to feel like she is good at what she does, and that it is worthwhile. I want her to feel all of the things I would have felt had I not let failure get the best of me.

Right now I don't understand why, but I guess it was all a part of God's plan for me. Maybe He needed me in that school. Maybe I helped or changed a student and still don't even know it - or will never know it. I just have to trust that my failure was all part of a grander plan, and hope that I can use it to teach J.

A Mom Born in the Wrong Era

Seriously. 

Growing up, one of my favorite shows was I Love Lucy. I absolutely loved Lucy and Ricky: her antics, his impatience, their NYC apartment, her clothes (oh my gosh how I loved her clothes), and the loving relationship that existed within their adorably imperfect little world (I was devastated after reading her biography and learning that the marriage between Lucy and Desi was actually horrible). Watching reruns of I Love Lucy led me to believe that I belonged in the 1950s. 

It was about ten years ago that I decided I would be the best housewife/stay-at-home mom ever: 1950s style. I once made a promise to my husband that if he ever allowed me to stay at home I would cook, clean, and even greet him at the door with his slippers and a drink (thankfully, he has long since forgotten about the slipper/drink deal). How well have I held up my end of the bargain? I'm far from perfect. I suck at cleaning (really, I'm just not good at it. I never have been.) But I cook and I'm cheerful for hubs when he gets home from work. 

I found this little gem (among others) that I just had to share. 

An article from a 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly

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• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. 
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. 
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. 
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. 
• Be happy to see him. 
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. 
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. 
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems. 
• Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always excercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

I left out a few, but yes. These were the "rules" for being a "good" wife back in the 1950s. I know, I know. Most of you are probably squawking thinking that these are crazy. Feminists are surely chomping at the bit to tear apart whoever wrote this article and probably me for posting it. But in truth, I don't think it's all crazy (some of it, maybe, but certainly not all). 

My husband not only uprooted his life so that I could be home with J, but he works hard so that I can stay home. He's still learning a new (and very demanding) position which sometimes has him working 12 hour days AND weekends. I am so grateful for the sacrifices he has made and will continue to make so that we can make the best life possible for J which starts with having her mother home to raise her. Therefore, I am happy to have dinner ready when he gets home and have J cleaned up and ready for bed (if not already in bed). Also, I don't find that it requires effort to show hubs that I'm happy to see him when he gets home - I really am. 

I read a lot of blogs and have read a lot of forums written by, for or about moms. I've come across a lot of "open letters" in which the writer relates to the unkempt mom struggling to survive each day. The recurring theme appears to be that it's the norm among moms (especially new moms) to live in spit-up covered sweats, keep her hair in a messy ponytail and banish all thoughts of makeup. Not only is it the norm, but it's expected and it's okay. It's relatable. 

Maybe I'm crazy, but I just can't relate. Why can't you take a shower while the baby is napping? J doesn't always nap, but I have no problem with strapping her in her bouncy and putting on Baby Einstein while I take a quick shower and shave my legs. Sometimes she cries, but I know that letting her cry it out doesn't make me a bad mom. I'm showering - not blowing lines. She's fine. The same goes for hair and makeup. 

I have really long hair which will frizz out to Timbuktu if I don't blow it out or put it in a messy top knot. It takes close to half an hour to blow-dry so when it's not blown out, it's because of sheer laziness and not inability due to a crying baby. Again, those Baby Einstein videos are great because they have a repeat play option. 

As for make up, that takes me all of ten minutes to do and makes me look more human than cave dweller. When I don't put it on, it's usually because I know that I won't be able to be bothered with taking it off later (sometimes I just sleep in it). And when J spits up or flings baby food onto my shirt I change it. Especially before I go out, and it's just not that difficult.  

If women from years ago (like my grandma, who had five children and never left the house without "putting on her face") were able to keep themselves put together, have dinner on the table and raise kids all at the same time, why do so many people struggle with it today? I honestly don't know. And like I said earlier, I am so far from being a perfect housewife; my house is lived in - not immaculate because cleaning is just not something at which I excel. I'm not as crafty as I would like to be and I cannot fold a fitted sheet. But I try hard, and my husband really doesn't seem to have too many complaints. Ultimately, I think Lucy and I would have been great friends.

Apple Crisp

You've never really tried apple crisp until you've had this recipe.

This is another dessert I made for Thanksgiving and really, this should be as much of a Thanksgiving staple as the turkey.

You're welcome!

Ingredients:

• 8-10 apples, thinly sliced and peeled using the apple peeler/corer/slicer tool. You can also grab the stand if you want to make your life really easy. 
• I mix them up. I use some golden delicious, some granny smith and some gala. Or whatever else says good for baking.
• 2 cups sugar
• 2 cups flour
• 2 eggs
• 1 stick of butter (melted)
• Lemon juice
• Vanilla 

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350
• After you've peeled and sliced the apples (make sure to discard seeds, stems and cores), sprinkle with a bit of lemon juice and dump into a your rectangular stone baker. This time, I actually just used a foil tin thing because I doubled the recipe. 
  

  
  
• In your classic batter bowl, mix sugar and flour together. Then add eggs and mix well. The mix will be a little lumpy.
  
• Sprinkle the mix over the apples, doing your best to cover all of them. 
• Drizzle the melted butter over the apple/flour/sugar mix.
  
• Sprinkle a small amount of vanilla over the mix (no more than a tablespoon or so).
  
• Sprinkle cinnamon over the entire thing - as much as you'd like. I really cover mine. 
  
• Bake for 45-60 minutes. 
• Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

Congratulations - you have now experienced a little bit of heaven on earth. Enjoy!