No Direction Here

I've been away from this blogging business for a little bit. I spent two weeks up north for Christmas and just kind of fell out of my routine. When I got back, I had little motivation to write anything. I couldn't figure out why. I mean, I always have thoughts circling around in my head - sometimes good, sometimes bad - and I actually did type up a few posts but they're still sitting in my "drafts" unedited and unfinished. But again, I have almost zero motivation to do anything with them. Why? I'm not really sure.

I've been picking up in terms of freelance work, which is fantastic. So I've actually been pretty busy with that during the precious free time I have when J is actually taking a nap. And if I'm not blogging for my freelance gig, I just don't really feel like blogging here.

This job also requires that I watch my fair share of reality tv **comments to yourselves...I'm getting paid***. One night, while binge watching an entire season of Kendra On Top, my husband asked me what I thought it might be like if we had our own reality show. And do you know what? It would be pretty flipping boring. Seriously. I am probably one of the most uninteresting people I know. Which is another reason why I can't seem to figure out a direction for my own blog.

Going back and taking a quick look through some of my older posts, I am, for the most part, all over the place here. It started out as a pregnancy/mom blog. But there are a million of those and all of the good niches are taken. I'm not crunchy, nasty or funny. Nor do I really want to slather Baby J's face all over the internet no matter how adorable it may be. I really just do my own thing in terms of parenting and it's not very interesting.

Then it kind of turned into cooking. I love to cook and I love being a stay-at-home mom. So then I thought, maybe just an average stay-at-home mom's blog. I mean, a lot of people do wonder what SAHMs do all day long (one of my unfinished posts was written after hubby made a comment about how I get to nap during the day. Yes, he seriously said that and I almost hit him). And then I got on this Wheat Belly diet kick and messed that whole thing up.

So I think the fact that I just don't have a solid direction here is making it really hard to pick back up.

Although, now I feel like I do have a lot going on. I realized that we are basically going to have to start saving up for a house from scratch. So I have spent a lot of time this past week trying to teach myself how to really budget. I've always loved saving money - finding a great sale gives me such a rush! But the problem is that because I save so much every time I shop, I really end up spending too much because I get ALL the deals! Like, I buy things I really don't need just because I'm getting such a great deal. No good. Basically, we need to make huge lifestyle changes and since payday was today, today was officially Day 1.

So maybe I'll share some of the things I learn along the way. And please feel free to comment and share any tips or tricks that you may have!

Reasons why being a SAHM is the absolute best job ever.

I'm going to start keeping a running tab on all of the reasons why becoming a SAHM is the best thing I've ever done. I'm adding to it as I think of or come across something so these reasons are in no particular order.

For those of you who may be on the fence about whether or not to give up your career, check out this list.

For those of you who, like me, sometimes need a little reminding about why becoming a SAHM was the right decision for you, read this list.

1. I am there for ALL of her firsts. The first time she laughed; the first time she rolled over. And I will be there for the first time she says "mama"; the first time she crawls; her first steps. Each first will only happen once in her life and witnessing them is a precious experience.
2. I get to know her. Like really know her. I know the meaning of every cry. I know what makes her laugh, what scares her, what she will find interesting or exciting, and exactly how to soothe her. 
3. No more parent-teacher "interviews". My school always holds this fun little shindig the night before Thanksgiving break. They informed parents of the "rules" - only visit the teachers of the subjects in which your child is struggling; hours are from 7-9pm; first come first serve basis. Well, parents who pay $10-20K to send their kids to high school don't really do so well with rules and these nights always had an "I'm being thrown to the wolves" kind of vibe.
4. I get to try (and fail) at Pinterest more than I'd like to. 
5. My best friend posts about her awful train commutes into NYC. As a SAHM, I don't have to commute or deal with big smelly men who wear awful hair pieces and don't understand the concept of personal space. 
6. Christmas shopping (and most of my other errands) are done during the weekdays while people are at work. Know what that means? No crazy crowds! And I get to actually enjoy the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. 
7. I will never have to worry about stuff like this! http://m.news4jax.com/news/ymca-staffer-accused-of-duct-taping-childs-mouth/30266728
8. I can go back "home" for two weeks at a time. I spent two great weeks up north and will be spending another two weeks up here in March! Did I mention that the March trip was planned so that I could see one of my favorite bands in concert in NYC? 
9. I can say yes to an impromptu road trip with my BFF to check out Atlanta, Georgia. Like, next week. 

Becoming a stay-at-home mom: Expectations vs. Reality

I poo pooed moms who whined about how hard it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I mean, how freaking hard is it to stay home and snuggle with a sleeping cherub all day every day? Being a stay-at-home mom was my dream job. I imagined my days as follows:

Wake up, feed baby, cook a delicious and healthy breakfast for me and my husband and then give him a kiss as I hand him his homemade lunch and send him off to work. The afternoon consists of walks in the park, playing and lots of cuddling. Then around 5pm the baby will be playing or sleeping happily while I get dinner ready and on the table just as hubs walks in the door after a long day at the office. Then we put the baby down together and relax with our wine and some tv before heading to bed for a good night's rest. I would be the BEST stay-at-home mom/wife EVER!

That all lasted about three weeks.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Especially when you are taking care of a floppy, demanding little person whose lack of patience rivals your own. Seriously - this kid makes me look like a saint. When she wants something you had better hustle because it's only a matter of time before the volcano erupts.

Baby J is now five months old and every time I think I've got a good routine going, she switches it up on me.

So our days now look something like this:
Wake up, feed baby, scrounge up some breakfast for myself (hubs is a big boy - he can fend for himself), and sneak in a kiss goodbye while we both hope that there's no spit up or baby food getting in the middle of our oh-so-romantic peck that we hope lands on the other's lips and not the cheek or chin. Hopefully Baby is still happily playing on her mat. If so, it becomes a mad dash to get as much done as I can before her good mood expires and it's time to get her down for her morning nap. This morning nap lasts, if I'm lucky, about two full hours. Just enough time to shower, get dressed and put on just enough makeup so that I look like an actual functioning member of society as opposed to some prehistoric cave dweller.

When she wakes up, our afternoons consist mainly of errands and playtime. On Tuesdays we go to Mommy and Me where I get to interact with other adults, and on Fridays we hit up story time at the library. If I have a healthy meal ready - even almost ready - by the time my husband gets home, it was an extraordinarily productive day. While he eats, I bathe Baby J, get her into her jammies, hand her off to Daddy for a bedtime story and then nurse her to sleep before cleaning up from dinner. By the time all is said and done, somehow it's 9:00. And I'm beat. By 9:30 my husband and I are both in bed. By 10:00, we're out cold.

Is it easy? No. Glamorous? Absolutely not. Would I rather put Baby J in daycare and go back to work as a teacher? Nope. Because despite the fact that my days are a whirlwind of....stuff, and my tiny little boss doesn't always allow lunch breaks, I wouldn't trade being home with my daughter for the world. Watching her change, grow, develop and discover is truly worth it.

The Calm After the Storm

I had every intention of getting this blog off the ground...and then life happened.

I wanted more than anything to be a stay-at-home mom, but living in New York would have made that almost impossible. Why? Well, imagine this: 

• Owning and living in a 1,700 sq. ft. condo (you do not own any of the property that is "your yard". 
• Paying $360 a month (plus an additional $140 a month during June, July and August) in maintenance fees (and special assessment fees) which basically covered lawn care, snow removal, and the concrete hole in the ground otherwise known as the pool. 
• Paying almost $8,000 a year in property taxes. Again, the only thing you own is the inside of your tiny condo. 
• Childcare was going to run about $2,000 a month. We checked out daycare facilities and a private nanny - the cost was going to be about the same.  
• Extras like Mommy & Me? These could run you an additional $200+ a month. IF you could find a place that tailored its hours around working moms. 

So, would it have been possible to stay home and live in New York? Probably. I certainly wouldn't have been the first to make it work. Would it have been ideal? Absolutely not. It would have been extraordinarily difficult. But, we were prepared to make it work one way or another. Then God stepped in. 

After years of hardships, God finally decided that it was time to make our new life a little easier. My husband, the amazing man and father that he has grown to be, was willing to make his work life even crazier than it already was by going to work in Manhattan. The hours would be longer, the commute would be torturous, but the money would be better and I could stay home with our daughter. In May, he had started interviewing and was seemingly about to be handed a position when this other opportunity landed in his lap. This new opportunity was for a position that he hoped to attain in the next 5-10 years of his career. 

Not only would this job put my husband exactly where he wanted to be professionally, but it would also relocate our family to Florida - a place with a much lower cost of living, real suburban communities, and, best of all, no more harsh winters - and allow us to live much more comfortably on one salary than if we were to stay in New York. 

At first, the answer seemed easy - let's go! We were excited and optimistic about the idea of moving. My husband submitted his resume and waited to hear back. And waited....and waited....and waited. 

I had practically forgotten about the job, and my husband hadn't actually expected to get it (according to him, he was too young and lacked the experience that was necessary). So you can imagine our surprise when he got a phone call in June from the head of the company asking him to fly down to Florida the following week for an interview. The rest happened with lightening speed.

I won't bore you with all of the details, but long story short we are now living down in sunny Florida! Moving from New York to Florida with an infant actually wasn't as bad as it may seem, and despite a little touch of homesickness, we have been transitioning pretty well. 

Truth be told, Florida is not AS cheap as I thought it would be, but we are definitely better off than we would have been up in New York. If we were in New York, I would be at work right now instead of writing this blog and our daughter would be somewhere doing God knows what. Her dad would probably be leaving for work before she woke up in the morning and getting home after she was already in bed asleep. 

I've only been here about a month and a half, so it still gets a bit lonely at times. But this new life is good, and I have faith that everything will fall into place just as it should.